No woman likes initiating the “where is this going” talk with someone she’s been steadily dating, especially if she’s a sugar baby. Sugar babies, in particular those from Sugar Daddy For Me, really like to come across as cool, breezy, and unbothered when it comes to things like that. But that doesn’t change the fact that, sooner or later, any two people who have been seeing a lot of each other eventually need to figure this out.
Of course, most sugar relationships start with a semi-formal arrangement that comes complete with ground rules and boundaries. But it’s also common for things to start out casual or semi-casual, only for the relationship to deepen later. That’s when a new talk needs to happen, but thankfully it’s easier to initiate one than you think. Here are some tips to get you started.
Prepare yourself emotionally
When a sugar baby finds herself thinking it’s time to talk about where her relationship is headed, there’s usually a specific answer she’d prefer to hear. Maybe you’re hoping your daddy will want to upgrade your connection to something more serious. Or maybe things have been moving a little fast for you, and you want to pump the breaks a bit.
Whatever the case may be, you’ll want to prepare yourself for any possible outcome – especially if you feel your sugar daddy has been deliberately avoiding this conversation. That’s a sign he wants to leave his options open either way.
Take the breezy approach
You definitely want to plan out what you want to say in a conversation like this, but you also want to act like it’s no big deal when it’s talk time. If you’re overdue for this conversation, there’s a reason, so you don’t want to put your sugar daddy on the defensive right out of the gate.
That said, avoid leading into things by telling him you need to have a talk, as that strikes fear into pretty much anyone’s heart. Instead, act like it’s no big deal – just something you were wondering about. Then let the conversation evolve naturally from there – this saves both of you from the anxiety leading up to a serious talk.
Avoid applying too much pressure
When a sugar daddy avoids this sort of conversation – even when he’s really into his sugar baby – it’s usually because he doesn’t want the relationship to change in ways he won’t like. Sure, some guys do just want to keep their options open as long as possible. But others are just not a fan of pressure or demands, which is understandable.
So avoid making any demands of him or deciding for him how you expect things to be moving forward. Ideally, this will be an honest but amicable conversation similar to the one you probably had when you first entered into an arrangement. Think of it as a friendly renegotiation of boundaries that are likely already in place.
Be understanding but honest
While it’s true you don’t want to strike fear into your sugar daddy’s heart when initiating a relationship status conversation, you don’t want to sugarcoat things too much, either. Be honest about what you want, and avoid beating around the bush.
If you want to be exclusive, say so. And if you don’t like the idea of exclusivity and want things to stay casual on both ends, say that, too. Speak your truth. Let him know what you want. And be prepared to walk away if he refuses to consider your needs. Yes, his comfort and well-being matter, but so do yours.
Respect his responses and choices
If you’ve been a sugar baby for long, then you’re likely used to frank, honest communication in your relationships by now. Part of that means being fully prepared to listen to, accept, and respect the other person’s responses to proposals and requests you might make.
So, yes, while it’s always wonderful to hear a successful sugar daddy feels the same way you do about where your relationship should go next, it’s essential to accept responses you don’t want with grace. If your sugar daddy disagrees with you on how you should define your relationship, there’s nothing you can do about it. All you can do is accept it and decide whether it aligns with your plans and needs.
When two people are in a relationship, they each have their own thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. Respecting and valuing these differences is an essential part of a healthy relationship. Coercing your sugar daddy into changing his mind about the relationship is a disrespectful way of trying to control him. It goes against the fundamental idea of a relationship built on trust, communication, and mutual respect. Additionally, trying to force anyone to change their mind about a relationship puts an unfair amount of pressure on that person.
It can be an emotionally draining and overwhelming experience to constantly be pressured to make a decision that you’re not ready or comfortable with. This can make your sugar daddy resentful and damage the trust between the two of you. If you care about him and want him to be happy, respect his right to decide about his relationship. Trying to force him into changing his mind to suit your needs is a failing strategy in the long run – you’re much better off finding another sugar daddy whose goals align with yours.
Understand that you have every right to ask
In a world where society still pressures women to be voiceless creatures who need to suck it up and ignore their own needs to keep those around them comfortable, it’s no wonder so many wonder whether they even have the right to ask where they stand with someone they’re dating. But it’s vitally important that you get comfortable with doing so.
This is your relationship, too, and you deserve to get what you want out of it just as much as your sugar daddy does. So if you’re ready to know where you stand, ask. The worst he can do is say he’s just not feeling it.